not only is my internet finally up and running full speed after two weeks of hard battle (we switched providers- go COOP!)
but the guys came and refilled our gas tank (we’ve been without for the past 48 hours, which means i’ve been able to see my breath during meals, haven’t been able to bathe, and had to wear socks to bed which i hate to do), so now we’re warm and toasty and clean
and, the IKEA guys came today with our brand spanking new couch!
so, living room almost complete. just need some new curtains, a few photos hung, and we’re in business.
i got back to italy over two weeks ago, and i apologize for the delay in writing, but it takes me a little while to get my bearings here. jet-lag is a state of mind as well as a physical setback, but it is something that i give into fully and whole-heartedly. my inherent laziness makes sleeping whenever i feel like it and being awake whenever i feel like it just delicious.
i told my mom right before i left atlanta that i didn’t plan on even setting eyes on FL’s family for the first week or so of my return, and i was true to my word. sounds weird, but once i’ve been in the US, soaking up the familiar and speaking nothing but my native tongue, i need a bit of time to transition, mentally as much as emotionally.
i believe i spent the first week soaking in the tub (i.e. using up all of the gas), kissing on FL, crouching on the bathroom floor experiencing moments of blind panic about the Impending Wedding, having long talks with FL about said I.W. (always the same issues, discussed and reexamined and hammered out flat…ironically, a new word i learned this first week back was “conciliate”, “placare” in italian, which is exactly what FL was forced to do to yours truly time and time again), staring dreamily out my bathroom window at the starry night, and sleeping.
i believe i spent the second week exercising like a mad woman, being totally content and excited about I.W., visiting with (what is soon to be my) family and friends, standing with my hands on my hips staring at the dust collecting all over the living room and trying to come up with a plan of attack, and sleeping.
and then that brings me to where i am now: thawing out, chilling out, full of new “plans of attack”, thighs sore from running, stomach full of the last of my completely homemade lasagna (i made the pasta, the ragu’ and the beschamel), fire roaring in the fireplace, mind swirling like smoke around the idea for my novel that came to me in a blinding flash this morning at 4am while i lay wide-awake, shivering against a peaceful, snoring FL.
things i know today:
1) FL is going to take excellent care of me
2) the only real risk to myself is myself
3) i need a heroine for my book, and i’m hoping she ends up to being the heroine for my life. in fact, i hope she ends up being me.
4) i need to cut out the bullshit and start putting on clothes strait away in the morning so as not to be caught in my nightgown, hair askew, at 11am by my future brother-in-law who’s been up for hours already fishing or building wagons or whatever the hell it is he does, cause that’s getting embarrassing. but, really, people should call before they stop by.
the wedding is two weeks from tomorrow! my friend nadia totally freaked me out the other day…
we sat on her couch, watching her precious 3 year old daughter sing along to blues clues in italian and discussing wedding preparations.
she was just flabbergasted that i had not reserved a “beauty artist” to come and do my hair and make-up the morning of.
“but everyone will be looking at you, all day! you have to be perfect!”
i threw up a little in my mouth.
also, apparently i have to have tiny gifts for everyone called “bonboniere” and must- positively must- attach a tulle packet filled with exactly five pieces of “confetti”, which is not the same as american confetti (harmless paper), but are instead rock-hard chocolate covered almonds weighing in at about a kilo each.
ha ha, before realizing that we have two different ideas of “confetti”, i told FL that my mom had purchased “confetti guns” to shoot at the wedding. FL’s face was priceless.
“that’s extremely dangerous,” he cried, “porchis is all windows!”
we’re going into town to have our wedding rings inscribed this evening. mine will say, “busemi di corse”, which means “kiss me now” in friulano, and FL’s will say, “fucking porcupine”.
there are stories behind both of these precious quotes, but i think for now i’ll just leave yall wondering.


Ok-when you describe their version of confetti all I can think of is the night I picked you up at the country club after a wedding…found you sitting on the curb eating a bouquet of flowers (not yours) and you got in the car yelling “the BEANS!” and throwing these exact same confetti-ish things around my car, violently. I can only hope you reinact this at your own wedding!!!
What a great blog. You are such a beautiful writer…can’t wait for the book! Good luck with the IW!
Even your emotional wreck moments are charming and frankly too absurd to take seriously, which is why it’s so nice to write them/say them out loud … so you can see how absurd they are! And just the THOUGHT of guns shooting chocolate-covered almonds is too funny to stand! I wish I could see the events unfold as old-world and new-world friends and family come together. You will have an exciting and lovely and memorable and completely wonderful (in the true meaning of the word) wedding, marriage, life. I am so excited for you
The two of you will take excellent care of each other.
Angeline
Oh my sweet Boo-Boo – Once again I have little tears in my eyes from the sweetness, the angst, the humor, the love that is your life (aka my life vicariously!). I hope you know how much you are loved!
Aunt Keli
Ok, I am wiping my tears. It is like reading/watching a great novel/movie. I can “see” all that happens. Please publish this story. Also, I want to see the celebration (wish I could be there in person), I know you can figure some wonderful technology to allow us stateside to see it, even if after the fact.
btw, what is IW?
Very heart warming, El. Can’t wait to see you and fucking porcupine next week!!
Love,
Claudia